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In parenthood, we’re all more alike than we think

Comparison is the thief of joy

I was recently out to dinner with a good friend enjoying a local event with Filipino food, and she asked me, “How do you do it? You always seem to be on top of things and finding time for you.” It’s fascinating how we as moms are continually comparing ourselves to each other. Comparison is the thief of joy, by the way. I laughed in her face. I may look like a duck on water, but underneath I am kicking and moving fast just to stay afloat.

I thanked her for the compliment and then began to tell her how my life is anything but organized and how I do not stay on top of things all the time. Yes, I do prioritize me time. I know 100% that I am a better mom when I get some me time, every day. It might be my 30-minute lunch hour, my 45-minute run in the evening, or lying in bed searching for sugar cookie videos on Instagram. I need quiet time to re-fuel my soul, and I do try to make it a point to find that sliver time in the day. When I get alone time, I reset my patience, I revert back to my normal mom voice and not the angry-impatient voice. I slow down and enjoy my time more with them.

But after we left each other that evening, we hugged and promised to do it again, I wondered, why do we compare ourselves to other moms? Maybe it was a compliment, and I took it as such. I hope she walked away thinking, “We’re more alike than I thought.” I’m not better than her – I plop my kids in front of the TV so I can make dinner and search Pinterest at the same time. We all do things in our own way and we need to give all moms a little grace. Be a cheerleader and supportive to the other mommas in your community. Next time you see a mom struggling to contain a toddler at the grocery store, don’t look away, tell her you’ve been there and she’s doing great.

Written by Brianna Ludwig


Brianna is a marketing professional who enjoys cooking, fitness and (mostly) healthy eating. She and her husband live in Bismarck with their two toddlers. Reach her at

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